So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
