I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
