just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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