new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
