So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
