He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So much rum. So many feels.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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