i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
two words: eviction party
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
