he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
