god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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