then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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