paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize