I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The best revenge is premature balding
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
