Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were destined to go to rehab together
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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