Where is the hickey?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
