hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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