You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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