I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
