I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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