STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
