The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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