I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
