i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
