I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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