It's like God shit irony all over that family
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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