I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
