At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
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Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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