Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
