i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
