Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
