Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
