yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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