You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
