I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
