remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
