Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
