I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
