you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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