Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
