am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
