no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
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Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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