I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
