His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You smell like a Billy Joel song
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
