I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
