Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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