okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
