I skipped work to stalk him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
