I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
