More tranny stories later!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
