She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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