when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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