I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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