he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
