Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Less talking, more tequila
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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