Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
